Category Archives: sensual

//•• I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore ••//


I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore. But it’ll always be my favourite place. That’s where it all started and that’s exactly where it all ended. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, for, getting over you took me going through an excruciating pain and now that I’m doing fine, I’m afraid to fall for you all over again. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, because we’ve been there so many times that every fucking coffee mug they own has been on our table once atleast and I’m trying really hard to forget how your lips tasted. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, because more than the coffee they served, I loved the feeling of the aroma of your scent slowly running down my veins everytime we met. And that scent still fucking exists in the air of that coffee shop that now suffocates. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, because that’s the place I opened up to someone about my insecurities and fears for the first time, and now if I step into that place again, I fear I may end up drink dialling you and telling you that I was never over you and I’ll never be, and how much it aches not to have you here anymore. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, because I know that you still visit there everyday. Not alone, but just without me. 🙂

//•• It’s Alright ••//

​”Not that I don’t want to be with you, but it’s just not working out anymore”, she said to me in an apologetic tone as she ended her reasoning speech. Piercing through​ my chest and it cut me into two. I could sense the guilt but there was nothing I could do. She was on the verge of bursting out and I was still here waiting to for her to tell me why. That little thing inside my chest kept alarming and telling me, “Sh sh sh. You promised you’ll never make her cry.” For the next 10 ten minutes none of us talked. I was very certain that there’s absolutely nothing left to talk. “I am sorry”, she said after that seemingly never ending pause. I took my eyes off the floor I had been looking for twenty three minutes now and looked into her eyes. Supressing those million questions and the urge to get a justification that could put her in pain, I smiled at her and said, “It’s alright.”

With tears running down, smudged mascara and swollen eyes, she looked into my eyes and said, “You don’t have to be so nice. Yell at me. Tell me that you’re not alright.” Choked up and barely able to breath, I wanted to tell her what she meant to me. Just for once, I wanted to be the weak one and have her shoulder to cry. But instead, I looked at her and smiled. Another moment of silence arrived that didn’t seem awkward anymore because that was the only bridge between us now for a good long while. Yet again the silence broke and she put her defence up, “It’s not you. It’s me. I don’t want to put you through anymore pain. I still love you but I’m sorry, I’m just sick of our fights.” Every breathe seemed to become heavier. “You can not stray me just because we fight. I may have screwed up at times, but you didn’t do any less either. I’ve never done anything to deserve the reward that you’re treating me with tonight and this time I’m really too tired to fight. There were times when you screwed up real bad, but I chose to stay. All I want to say is that this pain is excruciating, please don’t walk away.” I mumbled to myself. But I couldn’t burden her with a constant sense of pain and guilt she feels in my presence. So I got up, walked towards the door, turned around and said, “It’s alright!” 😊