Category Archives: Drunk Writing

3 A.M.

23244029_10210975129317030_571865372309534477_n

Hey there! Remember, it’s absolutely okay to be broken and not being able to cope up with it. It’s okay to burst out crying when you need to hold on to your tears the most. It’s okay to be sad for days and weeks, and to be all by yourself for a while. But hey, it’s not at all okay not to let go off the pain and holding onto it for so long that it makes a home inside your heart and starts tearing you up into bits and pieces from inside and starts feeding off of you. Even before this starts happening to you, catch hold of that one person you believe in with all your heart and soul, and tell them how you feel. Tell them about all your fears and insecurities. Because darling, ask me how it feels to bury all your pains inside your chest as they cut through your body and leave you completely scarred in and out. Ask me how it feels not to have that one person I’d put all my faith into and tell them about all my fears that haunt me every night at 3 a.m. when everyone else is talking to their someone about love, life, fear, pain and passion. Ask me how it feels to be fighting all my demons all by myself after I rescue other people from theirs. Ask me how it feels to go sleepless for several nights in a row when you are too tired to fight, but that’s the only ultimate choice you are left with. And ask me how it feels to be a 3 a.m. friend to many and not having a single one for myself.
Life out there is really tough, my friend. And for that, all that you ever need to remember is to never stop believing in yourself. And to never underestimate someone’s love for you. For, if they are ready to fight your demons at hand in the darkest hour of the night, they would probably do anything in this world for you.

//•• Lost And Found ••//

23172888_10210985752142594_7876169303497033535_n

I still feel a rush in my veins and my blood turns into water everytime I see you. I feel an excruciating pain in my chest, as if someone is crushing my rib cage all at once. Everything has changed since the day you have left. But all it takes is a single glance of your pretty face to bring back a thousand memories that we have left behind. All those long lost memories seem so fresh that they play in my head as if it was just yesterday. I do not hate you for anything. Neither am I mad at you. I’m just a little upset with myself for putting all my faith in someone so blindly. But I’m really that glad you made your choices. Because now, even after all the pains I go through at every single glance of you, I have a thin faded smile on my face knowing that I would no more be the reason to your sadness. I lost you and you lost me. But darling, that’s not even important. The only thing that’s important is that I found myself in the process of losing you.

//•• I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore ••//


I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore. But it’ll always be my favourite place. That’s where it all started and that’s exactly where it all ended. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, for, getting over you took me going through an excruciating pain and now that I’m doing fine, I’m afraid to fall for you all over again. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, because we’ve been there so many times that every fucking coffee mug they own has been on our table once atleast and I’m trying really hard to forget how your lips tasted. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, because more than the coffee they served, I loved the feeling of the aroma of your scent slowly running down my veins everytime we met. And that scent still fucking exists in the air of that coffee shop that now suffocates. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, because that’s the place I opened up to someone about my insecurities and fears for the first time, and now if I step into that place again, I fear I may end up drink dialling you and telling you that I was never over you and I’ll never be, and how much it aches not to have you here anymore. I don’t go to that coffee shop anymore, because I know that you still visit there everyday. Not alone, but just without me. 🙂

//•• It’s Alright ••//

​”Not that I don’t want to be with you, but it’s just not working out anymore”, she said to me in an apologetic tone as she ended her reasoning speech. Piercing through​ my chest and it cut me into two. I could sense the guilt but there was nothing I could do. She was on the verge of bursting out and I was still here waiting to for her to tell me why. That little thing inside my chest kept alarming and telling me, “Sh sh sh. You promised you’ll never make her cry.” For the next 10 ten minutes none of us talked. I was very certain that there’s absolutely nothing left to talk. “I am sorry”, she said after that seemingly never ending pause. I took my eyes off the floor I had been looking for twenty three minutes now and looked into her eyes. Supressing those million questions and the urge to get a justification that could put her in pain, I smiled at her and said, “It’s alright.”

With tears running down, smudged mascara and swollen eyes, she looked into my eyes and said, “You don’t have to be so nice. Yell at me. Tell me that you’re not alright.” Choked up and barely able to breath, I wanted to tell her what she meant to me. Just for once, I wanted to be the weak one and have her shoulder to cry. But instead, I looked at her and smiled. Another moment of silence arrived that didn’t seem awkward anymore because that was the only bridge between us now for a good long while. Yet again the silence broke and she put her defence up, “It’s not you. It’s me. I don’t want to put you through anymore pain. I still love you but I’m sorry, I’m just sick of our fights.” Every breathe seemed to become heavier. “You can not stray me just because we fight. I may have screwed up at times, but you didn’t do any less either. I’ve never done anything to deserve the reward that you’re treating me with tonight and this time I’m really too tired to fight. There were times when you screwed up real bad, but I chose to stay. All I want to say is that this pain is excruciating, please don’t walk away.” I mumbled to myself. But I couldn’t burden her with a constant sense of pain and guilt she feels in my presence. So I got up, walked towards the door, turned around and said, “It’s alright!” 😊

​//••Faded Memories••//


So, it’s been a pretty long while now that we’re friends no more. Long enough for both of us to even remember each other’s face. But darling, I remember everything about you. Right from that look in your eyes to the way you walked. I remember how we met for the first time and how we started talking. I remember how you smiled and how your cheekbones would touch the highest altitude possible whenever I would be around. I remember how the warmth of your hug would electrify my cold soul. I remember the rush I felt in my veins everytime you just called my name. I know I am very forgetful, but I remember the littlest details about you. About us. And the memories that don’t mean a thing to you anymore. Perhaps, making me feel like a walking graveyard of memories, as I carry the burden of the corpses of our memories on my shoulder and wander around looking for you everywhere, in every other person I meet. I remember our last 4am conversation like I remember the importance of breathing, and trust me it’s been a really long time since then. I remember it like it was just yesterday when we met at your favourite coffee shop and gulped down the laughter while sipping on our favourite cafe frappe. I remember how we would be around each other all the time. And yes, I also remember how you left me hanging in the middle of nowhere so abruptly. You saw me falling apart but never did you realize that the walls of ignorance I was building between us were for you to break through and rescue me from becoming the beast I never wanted to turn into. I remember the day you left. The day when the pen in a writer’s hand got replaced with a cigarette, and all the emotions that were supposed to end up being written on a paper were now rolled up in a piece of paper with some toxin, ending up as nothing but the smoke in the air. More than I am addicted to cigarette today, I was addicted to you, maybe. I still am, maybe. And now I realize that I loved you way too much for you to deserve me and WE were just too good to be true. And for the most of it, the only thing that I remember now is that I remember you way too much to remember myself anymore. 😊